I'm depressed, willing to kill myself? :/?

Sometimes life sucks. Your life doesn't sound so great now, but it'll get better. Obviously your brother is doing well now, so you can see that your life will probably go the same way. Don't give up before you even get to see what your future is like. Friends aren't permanent even when you live in the same place for fifteen years, trust me. Just keep in touch with old friends and know that if you need to talk to somebody, you can always message me. Don't lose hope for something better, it'll come.